Ripe Tomato Award for Philanthropy Through Fashion

A confession: I don’t know much about fashion.  When I look at Jeff Bezo’s pants, I think, “Hmmm, a little tight, but no big deal.”  As a freelancer who stays at home with his daughters, my flashy duds tend to gather dust, unless I’m eating Chocolate Taxidermied Deer or cursing aliens for withholding their cancer-curing technology.

I used to live and work in Gunbarrel, Colorado, only a stone’s throw from the world headquarters of Crocs, the ugliest, most dangerously stupid shoe ever created. In Boulder and Gunbarrel these shoes are as obnoxiously ubiquitous as Subaru Outbacks—and I should know—I still drive one.

Here’s an exceptional example of how hideous Crocs can be, as modeled by someone who knows how to create beautiful things to put in his mouth, but apparently can’t figure out how to put beautiful things on his feet:

"If I could see my feet I'd be appalled!" (AP Photo)

Trend and marketing expert Rachel Weingarten, however, knows her clothes.  And hair.  And what’s wrong with Jeff Bezo’s pants.  And, most importantly, Rachel knows shoes—and isn’t afraid to tell the world what she thinks about Crocs.

Therefore, in honor of her contribution to moving Crocs out of the spotlight and into the gardening section of your local nursery (or thereapeutic footwear section of your local pharmacy), sharing her insights on the national stage through an interview with the Washington Post and appearance on NBC’s Today Show, and calling out Crocs for causing the fashion disease that will henceforth forever be known as Flintstone Foot, I’m proud to award Rachel C. Weingarten the Ripe Tomato Award for Philanthropy Through Fashion:

Thank you so much, Rachel, for making the world of shoes a less colorful place.