Family & Parenting

"Finally, my powers have returned..."

Cat, 1. Ron, 0.

While I’ve been accused of having the terribly common, summer disease known as Blog Hiatusitus, it’s simply not true. I have much better excuses than that. No, I’ve been missing for a variety of other reasons. My site was hacked by some supposedly-Palestinian hacker named Mahmoud SQL.  I’ve been busy designing a new website home […]

Blog Salad's LeapFrog Tag Reading System Giveaway Contest!

Blog Salad's LeapFrog Tag Reading System Giveaway Contest!

It’s Blog Salad’s first ever giveaway—and it’s a good one! That’s right, it’s the 2009 Toy Industry Association Educational Toy of the Year—the Leapfrog Tag Reading System 32 MB with 2 Books! This wonderous new-fangled contraption makes reading an interactive joy for your 4-8 year old.  The tag reader holds audio for up to 10 […]

I should wash out my mouth!

I should wash out my mouth!

Yes, I’ve been cursing, possibly even more than Michele Wojciechowski, the only freelance writer I know who could make George Carlin’s zombie blush. Sometime after my wife and I married, but before my daughters were born, a liquid soap dispenser in the house went dry.  Brandishing our newlywed Costco card, we purchased an industrial size […]

My First Obituary

I know, I know.  That’s a golden title for a humor writer, teeming with comedic potential, but no funny stuff today.  My mother passed away on Thursday, ending a long battle with ocular melanoma that metastasized in her liver.  I wrote the following obituary, which was published in the Roswell Daily Record on Friday, 19 […]

The Aliens Can't Cure My Mother Because the Government Won't Let Them Out of their Cages

The Aliens Can't Cure My Mother Because the Government Won't Let Them Out of their Cages

I’m packing up my daughters up tomorrow night to make the 500 mile road trip south to see my mom in Roswell, New Mexico—my bizarre little birthplace in the desert.  I know you’ve grown accustomed to my cracking jokes, but this time I’m being serious: my mother has cancer, a very rare form of ocular […]

From a YouTube video entitled "Smoking Smarties"

Further Confirmation My Wife May Be Losing It

NOTE: This is a post from Easter that was gathering dust in my drafts drawer. I’ve resurrected it (some pun intented) because I’m desperately low on energy and material for the Blogathon today. Buen Provecho! It’s Easter, and thanks to a brutal crucifixion that occurred two thousand years ago, there’s been a recent influx of […]

Photo Wednesday: Two-Toothed Pride

Photo Wednesday: Two-Toothed Pride

It’s amazing how learning to smile with new teeth can transform your precious, adorable child into a snarling, squinty-eyed pirate.